I really do not enjoy liking people.
I really do not enjoy the aftermath of a good date or some other less innocent romantic entanglement. I won’t call and I won’t wait.
I really do not enjoy kissing someone first (and never have).
I really do not enjoy the cognitive dissonance of thinking that I’m a delightful person while presuming that no one else will or should share that belief.
Some theories on why feminism is interpreted as misandry
Some people seem to think feminism (equality for women)= misandry (man-hating). Why? I don’t know for sure, but I’ve developed some theories.
1) The Gender Norms Theory: Women are, according to most constructions of femininity, expected to be passive, docile creatures whose minds are attuned to the needs of everyone, but most especially their male counterparts. When they shirk this role and all of the fuzzy maternal feelings that go along with it, they are interpreted as antagonistic, hostile, etc. It’s like if your mother said to you as a child “to hell with you little one, I need to live my own life”. You would assume she did not love you anymore, perhaps even felt disdainful towards you and the burden you had been on her. You might assume that she hated you. Men, I think, assume women hate them when women do not want to care for, nurture, and placate them because this is what women are expected to do and be like.While the women may just think “I want freedom” the men see this as “they do not love us anymore.” Hence, they assume, feminism=misandry
2) The Spoiled Child Theory: If we assume that men have historically had rights and privileges that women have not, then we can perhaps think of men analogously to spoiled children who get what they want. They might then interpret women, who are asserting their own rights even to the detriment of men’s special privileges, as taking favourite toys away from them. They see women as antagonizers who are hell-bent on making life worse for them. Women, of course, would prefer that everyone have privileges and rights, but this is not always possible. That they attempt to assert their rights even to the detriment of men’s privileges is interpreted as hateful by the men. Thus they figure, Feminism=misandry.
3) The Uninformed Person Theory: Most people have no clue what the fuck feminism is about and so just absorb all kinds of absurd, diluted, insipid, and other ill-informed conceptions of it from popular media etc. This is convoluted by the fact that the popular media often takes the most sensationalized examples of feminism and narrates them, because that makes for more saleable news. Ergo we get lots of stories of the most ridiculous and egregious of feminisms’ exploits (which tend to look like misandry). Ergo, they conclude, Feminism=misandry.
4) The Sometimes Feminism=Misandry Theory. Sometimes, for some people, it is. Oh well.
from “We thought it was the apocalypse”
After her father died, we looked behind every stone,
shone lanterns in the guts of every rotted tree,
but we could not find flowers to lay on his grave.
So against the falling sun at the close of the ninth day,
we gathered up the wings of dead white moths
and sewed them together to pass off as lilies.
I just submitted a proposal for a presentation to the 12th Annual North American Conference for Critical Animal Studies. The would-be presentation consists of a critical analysis of PETA’s handling of the analogy in which the suffering of animals is compared to the suffering of black American slaves.(Spoiler: They do a terrible job).
And here I thought I was done with academia.