i also fundamentally do not trust people who want to make a comment on gender or sex and then proceed to only talk about “men” and “women” as if no other categories existed and as if those were even the right categories
if anyone says “well women do more gender policing than men anyways” or “men do less emotional damage to women than women do to other women”
i immediately stop trusting them
because that is some severely misinformed misogyny
this week T and i made a really difficult decision, and yesterday i carried it through. I brought the new kitten, Radegast, back to his foster home so they could re-home him. T and I thought he was wonderful, but unfortunately after a week of bonding with Ari, he started deciding to test his powers and his play became bullying. it might well have been unwitting on Radegast’s part, but it was too much for Ari to handle. Ari became stressed and hyper-vigilant, stopped eating properly, and stopped interacting with us confidently the way he used to. after a few weeks of our attempts to teach Radegast to behave differently, we decided that it would be best for Ari’s health to let the foster program find a different home with more assertive cats for him to join. i still feel like i just returned an adopted child after committing to take them in, but luckily Radegast is really happy in his foster home and they will keep him until they find the right place.
meanwhile, i am not sure we will adopt a second cat again. Ari does not seem like he has had much socialization and i do not want to commit to any more adoptions, or even weeks-long trials, if they are potentially going to have such a negative effect on Ari’s well-being. when Ari has left this world, maybe T and I will adopt a pair of already bonded cats.
for now, the house is quieter without the kitten. although Ari has again taken to yelling greetings at me when I come in the door.
sorry but i do not and will not use the phrase “enthusiastic consent.” half the time i’m depressed, and when i’m not depressed i am a cantankerous old malcontent. if i used excitement as a threshold test i would rarely actually do anything recreational or optional ever. i’ve had a lot of reasons for having sex in the past, and “enthusiasm” or a "fuck yes!" attitude has rarely been one of them. a person can be self-assertive or self-controlled or otherwise doing the thing they have decided they want to do without being enthusiastic. but i guess “resolute consent” does not have the same ring to it.
sleekills replied to your post “sometimes i think about my break-up with my ex-girlfriend and i am…”
i hope those tears are for realizing that anyone who left might well still love the person they’re leaving, because that really is a bittersweet thought
newfoundblog replied to your post “sometimes i think about my break-up with my ex-girlfriend and i am…”
that is extremely selfless of you <3
haha. i don’t think so. reasonable, maybe. if i was actually selfless i would have done or given up anything to make her happy. i didn’t. a small part of me still wonders if i shouldn’t have though.
And I hope you find the kind of joy that YOU deserve.
Thank you, friend :)
sometimes i think about my break-up with my ex-girlfriend and i am strangely comforted by it because i realized that sometimes people will end a relationship even though they love you, people will leave even though they believe that you are better than anything they will ever have or be.
i realized this because i was that person breaking up with someone who i still think the world of. i knew i couldn’t give her the kind of joy she deserves, but i hope she’ll find it now.
hollow-gram replied to your post “hollow-gram replied to your post “this one time, a friend of mine…”
What was the point that she was trying to make?
if i recally correctly, she was trying to prove to her homophobic family that someone they love can be gay and that they need to learn to be accepting and stuff. and i assume that the reason she ‘clarified’ her straightness for everyone else was that she was not trying to make the same ~point~ and so didn’t want to arbitrarily misinform people about herself.